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Fish No Man Should be Caught Stocking in Their Tank
If you are setting up your bachelor pad and just installed your new 100 gallon freshwater fish tank in your living room it’s now time to stock it with fish. There are so many fish out there it is tough to pick which ones to put in your tank and which ones will get along with each others. There are some cool fish out there but then there are some really girly fish out there that will hurt your manliness. In an effort to keep you from making the mistake of getting a girly fish, I have compiled a list of the fish no man should keep in their large fish tank.
Pufferfish
The name alone is a reason not to stock this fish in your tank. The pufferfish is a girly fish that puffs up its cheeks when it gets scared or angry and should not be stocked in the aquarium of any self-respecting man. Another reason not to get a pufferfish is that they are sexually dimorphic, which means that in this case that the male pufferfish is more brightly colored than the female. That just doesn’t seem right. The man is suppose to be cool, calm and dark—mysterious and stuff. Don’t get this fish unless you want to get laughed at. By me.
Goldfish
These boring, golden fish are one of the most popular and commonly kept aquarium fish because of their hardiness and stupidity. Many goldfish are bred to have flowing fantails which are pretty girly. No man should ever have goldfish in his tank because they are too boring and common. You’ve got to get something more exciting, hostile and aggressive like a bala shark or something, not a goldfish.
Any sort of “fancy” Guppy
Even the word “guppy” is an epithet people yell at weak or subservient people, so why would you want to bring something with that kind of negative energy into your house. If you’re looking for a cool fish you can do way better than a fancy guppy with its flowering, colorful tail and weak demeanor.
About the Author
Alan McGee is a freelance writer from MN.